The Trouble With Chimera and Demons
by Karu Leonnese
Summary: Two fangirls, a chimera, a demon, and a simple living room. Scared yet? You should be... Random X/Z and insanity
1. You CAN'T turn a Mazoku good!

Defecting?  
  
by Karu Leonnese & Sammy Cortez  
  
Notes: Pointless chatfic. I found it funny though... AU, Self-inserts, Z/X, kinda soem one-sided yuri too  
  
*~*~*~  
  
*Sammy, Karu Zelgadis and Xellos are hanging out in Karu's living room.*  
  
Xellos: *sings* You can try to resist, try and hide from my kiss, but you knwo you know you cannot fight the moonlight, deep in the dark you srender the your heart byt you know but you know you cannot fight the moonlight glow...........it is gonna get to your heart  
  
Sammy: *sweatdrop*  
  
Karu: o.O  
  
*Xellos dances around with Zelagadis as Sammy sits horrified*  
  
Sammy: ........no  
  
Karu: o.o....Get out of my head  
  
Sammy: Karu help!!!!  
  
Karu: *watching* Nani?  
  
Sammy: Xellos and Zelgadis!! *points*  
  
Karu: *watches the two calmly*  
  
Sammy: What is he doing to his leg karu!!??  
  
Karu: O.O....Oh dear...get a stick  
  
Sammy: 0.O  
  
Karu: *watches as Xellos flies past Sammy into the wall* Oh never mind...Good swing Zel!  
  
Sammy: *she kneels down next to Xellos* Why did ya do that bubby Xel?  
  
Xel: @.@ It was so funny!!  
  
Sammy: *she pokes him with a stick* Haha!!  
  
Karu: *cackles evilly*  
  
Sammy: Let me fix that for ya *she takes out a mallet an cracks her on the back of her head*  
  
Karu: @.@....That HELPS I suppose??  
  
Sammy: ^.^...Well you had a bad cackle and I thought you were trying to caugh up a lugi  
  
Karu: *minor concusion damage* I needs a hug....  
  
Sammy: *huggles*  
  
Karu: Well thanks...but I kinda meant..*nods head in Zel's direction*  
  
Sammy: Oh..... *tackles zel*  
  
Karu: o.o  
  
Sammy: Zel!!!!  
  
Zel: Gah! Get off me!  
  
Sammy: Nnnnnnnnoooooooooooo!!!  
  
Zel: Clingy fangirl!  
  
Sammy: *clamps onto him* Yes I am!!!  
  
Zel: //.-+  
  
Sammy: I love you Zelgadis!!!  
  
Zel: Can't...breathe...  
  
Sammy: Yes you can  
  
Karu: Actually, I don't think he can...he's turning blue...uh...blueER  
  
Sammy: Ooohh ....heh.......sorry  
  
Karu: *notes she apologizes yet doesn't move...^.^o*  
  
Sammy: *she lets go but does not move*  
  
Zel: *gasps for breath* Stupid....fangirls...  
  
Sammy: *she punches him*  
  
Zel: That might've hurt...if I were human  
  
Sammy: Fine! *she kicks him in the nuts* DOES THAT HURT!!!  
  
Karu: o.O...Sammy!  
  
Zel: O.O  
  
Sammy: Oooopss...sorry  
  
Zel: Gak...  
  
Karu: *winces* I think that did hurt...  
  
Sammy: Eeerrmm..heh *get up and walks over to Xellos*  
  
Xel: *was watching all this*  
  
Sammy: Hey Xellos, wanna be my boy friend?  
  
Karu: o.o  
  
Xel: ....Why not!  
  
All: o.o  
  
Xel: *smirks* As long as you don't mind sharing with Zel-chan...  
  
Sammy: .........  
  
*Zel's boot is thrown at Xellos' head*  
  
Saamy: Hehe Connect four!!  
  
Zel: *yells* Fruitcake!  
  
Sammy: Hehehe I'm hungy  
  
Xel: Me too...*whacks Karu* Mmm tasty..  
  
Sammy: Hehehehe  
  
Karu: -.-+  
  
Sammy: *hits her*  
  
Karu: -.-++++  
  
Sammy: That didn't do anything for me  
  
Karu: *hits her back* That did...  
  
Sammy: Ouchies *cries*  
  
Xel: Yumm..desert  
  
Sammy: *drop kicks Xellos*  
  
Xel: *giggles*  
  
Sammy: Biznatch... *hugs him*  
  
Xel: ^.^o  
  
Zel: *walks over* You have to go extreme  
  
Sammy: I wuv you Xellos  
  
Karu: ^.^o...Deluded gain I see...  
  
Sammy: I wanna see if I can make him good. I am a good mazoku  
  
Xel: REALLY deluded...  
  
Sammy: *looks confused* What's deluded?  
  
Karu: *pats her on the head* Put it this way...you really don't know wat Xel's capable of...turning him good isn't on the 'to happen' list  
  
Sammy: You wanna bet?  
  
Xel: I do!  
  
Sammy: Okay, what are we betting?  
  
Xel: I'll bet you I'm evil and I'll bet ya....mmmm....Zel-chan!  
  
Zel: Nani?!  
  
Karu: Hmmm...I'll help ya Sammy...I'd like to get me a chimera ^.^  
  
Sammy: Cool!!!  
  
Xel: Eh?  
  
Zel: This I've GOTTA see...  
  
Sammy: Okay......eeeeerrrrmmmmm what are we doing again?  
  
Karu: *facefaults* Did you get posessed by Gourry or something?  
  
Sammy: *giggles* Huh?  
  
Karu: Never mind...  
  
Sammy: Okay yeah betting der! Lets bet!  
  
Xel: Okay...I'll bet you....I'll bet dinner that I can get Zel-chan to yell at me in under thirty seconds  
  
Zel: *yells* XELLOS!!  
  
Xel: ^.^ I win!  
  
Sammy: And.....I bet you.....our dating that I can make you good for two minutes. If I win we break up sadly  
  
Xel: And if I win we break up messy?  
  
Sammy: No ..  
  
Sammy: We stay together in the love-hate relationship  
  
Karu: Hmmm...  
  
Sammy: Well.......  
  
Xel: Hey, I'm always up for a challenge...ne Zel-chan? *smirks*  
  
Zel: *glares*  
  
Sammy: *she walks over to Xellos grabs him by the hair* Sore wa himitsu desu  
  
Xel: ^.^ Tha's my line  
  
Sammy: It's mine too Well, let's get started!  
  
Karu: *whispers to her* How do we turn a Mazoku good?  
  
Sammy: Eeerrmmm *whispers* I dunno...go ask him  
  
Karu: Why would he tell us?  
  
Sammy: Lie to him and make a deal  
  
Karu: Fine fine... *walks over to Xel* Hey Xel...tell us how to make ya good and you can share Zel with me....  
  
Sammy: Hey!  
  
Karu: *looks at her innocently* Nani?  
  
Sammy: *gives her that 'hurry it up' look*  
  
*Xel whispers something to Karu. She skips back over to Sammy*  
  
Sammy: Well?  
  
Karu: He says we hafta annoy Filia  
  
Sammy: That will make him good?  
  
Karu: Apparently  
  
Sammy: Eeerrmm... where is Filia?  
  
Karu: Prolly at her Mace and Vase shop  
  
Sammy: Well....lets go  
  
Karu: Righto... *APs them all there*  
  
Sammy: *she goes to Filia at the counter* Filia m'dear  
  
Filia: Yes? Can I help you?  
  
Sammy: *she hugs onto her*  
  
Filia: O.o  
  
Karu: I dont think it's working  
  
Sammy: Hey Filia...  
  
Filia: *pats her on the head* Yes?  
  
Sammy: I wuv you!!! Will you be me girlfriend?  
  
Filia: ^.^ Sure  
  
Karu: I think you have to explain to her that it's not a friend that's a girl...  
  
Sammy: Eeerrmmm Filia are you straight?  
  
Filia: Yes  
  
Sammy: Hahahahahaha!!!!!  
  
Filia: What's so funny?  
  
Sammy: *reaches over and kisses her*  
  
Filia: O.O *reaches for her mace* That namagomi put you up to this, didn't he?!  
  
Sammy: No no!!!  
  
Filia: *angry fire eyes*  
  
Sammy: Honest! *she smacks Filia's butt walking past*  
  
Filia: *turns an angry red*  
  
Karu: *trying not to fall over laughing*  
  
Sammy: *Spins around* I can't resist! *runs back and leans Filia back, kissing her again*  
  
Zel: *sighs and hides behind a shelf*  
  
Xel: *appears above Sammy and Filia* Yare yare...such friendly people around here...^.^  
  
Sammy: o.O  
  
Filia: NAMAGOMI!!  
  
*Filia chases Xellos with her mace, knocking over shelves and vases in the process*  
  
Sammy: *she pulls out her rope and lassos Filia* Whoa girlie!  
  
Filia: *turns to her* And YOU!!  
  
Sammy: Eeepp  
  
Filia: Stupid Mazoku!  
  
Sammy: Uh oh  
  
Karu: Now now Filia...you'll break your store to pieces if you don't calm down...  
  
Sammy: *blows a kiss at Filia*  
  
Filia: ARRGHH!! *changes to her dragon form*  
  
Karu: Oh shimatta...  
  
Sammy: *she turns into a fly* Ooh shit! Wrong spell wrong spell!!!  
  
Karu: A fly?  
  
Sammy: *changes back* Yesh u.uo  
  
Filia-dragon: *looks menacingly at Sammy and Xellos*  
  
Sammy: Eeerrppp...think we should phase now?  
  
Xel: Why whatever for? ^.^ It's just getting interesting  
  
Zel: *is squished between a wall and Filia* Little help here....  
  
Sammy: oohhh zel!!  
  
Karu: *jumps on the counter to avoid being squashed*  
  
Sammy: *is slammed behind a book case*  
  
Karu: Filia....you're hurting someone innocent...can you change back?  
  
Sammy: *all squished-like* Uuggghhh!!  
  
Filia: *to Karu* Can you keep your FRIEND away from me?  
  
Karu: *looks at Sammy*  
  
Sammy: But I love you!!!!!  
  
Filia: Grrr...  
  
Sammy: *giggles* Ggggggrrrrr yourself  
  
Karu: *sighs and looks at Xellos* I'm afraid to ask, but....can you give us  
  
a hand?  
  
Sammy: *to Filia* I'll bet your a real animal in bed *she winks thinking this was all funny*  
  
Filia: *starts torching shelves*  
  
Xel: *pats Karu on the head* Sure thing  
  
Sammy: *near to scorched* Aaaahhh save me save me!!!  
  
Xel: My my Filia-san...we're picking up a few pounds aren't we?  
  
Sammy: Hehhehee!!! She's still hot  
  
Filia: *turns her glare to Xellos*  
  
Xel: I mean, you can't really see it in your human form, but as a dragon...yikes  
  
Sammy: *squeezes out and laughs at Filia* Damn your ass is huge!!!!  
  
Karu: *takes the oppourtunity to try and find Zel*  
  
Xellos: See what I mean? I'm not the only one who notices  
  
Sammy: Oh my god, woman! *sings* I like big butts and I cannot lie You other brothers cannot deny When a girl name Filia walks in her with an itty bitty waist And her round thing inyour face...  
  
Xel: Although, I think you're doing a lot better in the female admirers category Filia-san  
  
Sammy: -sprung, another one comes up you now your stuck with the g she's wearing I'm hooked and cannot stop staring Oh baby I wanna get wit ya and take your picture, All my home boys tried to warn me but that butt you got makes Xellos horny!  
  
Xel: o.o...Nani?  
  
Sammy: Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Filia: *turns back into human form and starts throwing vases at the two*  
  
Sammy: *hides behind Xellos and starts doing a little booty dance* I like big butts!  
  
Karu: *is laughing so hard she falls*  
  
Sammy: Break it down now! uh!  
  
Zel: *odd/sickened look on his face*  
  
Sammy: *sprays Prick-away and Xellos goes flying through a wall, making a hole the shape of him*  
  
Xel: Whee! ^.^  
  
Sammy: Funny no?  
  
Filia: I want you Mazoku OUT OF MY STORE NOW!!!  
  
Sammy: *sprays Bitch-away and Zel and Filia fly through a window* Ahahaha!!!  
  
Karu: Hey...Zel's not a bitch...  
  
Sammy: *grins* He's your bitch Hehehe!  
  
Karu: *considers this* o.o....Hmmmm....  
  
Xel: Ano...actually I already had him claimed...  
  
Sammy: Well still!! *sprays more Prick-Be-Gone, sending Xellos off the globe*  
  
Zel: *sticks his head back in the window* I am no ones bitch!  
  
Xel: WHEEEEEEEEE!!  
  
Sammy: Hahaha my spray cans of justice!! Note that is my things I carry around with me  
  
*Upon hearing the magic word 'justice' Amelia walks in*  
  
Sammy: Amelia!!  
  
Amelia: Oh! Sammy-san!  
  
Sammy: *tackles her*  
  
Karu: *evil look* Amelia: o.o  
  
Amelia: Um...Sammy-san....I kinda can't breathe...  
  
Sammy: *sprays Anti-justice and she and Amelia go flying a flew miles away*  
  
Sammy: Wwwwwweeeee!!!!!!!  
  
Amelia: Ahhh! How unfair to the good!  
  
Sammy: *looks* Back there? There was no good...only the prick, the bitch, the nerd and the big butted one  
  
Karu: Hey, who's the nerd?  
  
Sammy: You  
  
Karu: -.-+  
  
Sammy: I am the dumb ass  
  
Zel: That's for sure...  
  
Filia: *climbs back in the window* I SAID I wanted you out!  
  
Sammy: *sings* I like big butts!!!!!!!  
  
Xel: *grins* Hear that Sammy? She said she wanted you!  
  
Sammy: Really!!!??  
  
Filia: I did not!  
  
Xel: *crosses out the 'out' in the words* See?  
  
Sammy: *eyes widen as she looks to Filia, still doing the big butt dance and singing* I like big butts and I cannot deny I like big butts and I cannot lie You other brothers cannot deny When a girl name Filia walks in her with an itty bitty waist and her round thing in your face... You get sprung, another one comes up you now your stuck with the g she's wearing I'm hooked and cannot stop staring Oh baby I wanna get wit ya and take your picture, All my home boys tried to warn me but that butt you got makes Xellos horny!  
  
Filia: STOP IT!!!!  
  
Sammy: Hahaha!!  
  
*Karu and Zel watch this amused*  
  
Sammy: I have more!!  
  
Filia: No you don't!  
  
Sammy: Eeeww rumba a smooth skin you say you wanna get in my binz? Use me use me you don't have an average groupie  
  
Amelia: sammy-san, it is unjust to upset poor Filia-san like that!  
  
Sammy: I seen you danceing...Zel said to hell with romancin...you sweating,working got it going like a turbo jet,  
  
Zel: o.O...I said WHAT?!  
  
Sammy: Zel's andaconda don't want none unless you got some hun!  
  
Zel: *turns red*  
  
Sammy: *falls over laughing bright red in the face*  
  
Karu: o.O...  
  
Sammy: Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhahahahahahahaahahaahaaha!!!!!! I know more! It's coming back to me now!  
  
All (Minus Xel) Gods no!!!  
  
Sammy: Even Zang gotta shout baby got back!  
  
Karu: *blinks* Is he talking about Vrummy?  
  
Sammy: *points to the sky.... Red XIII was flying by* Smoke at Joe's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Karu: Now THAT was odd  
  
Sammy: How long do you think he has been flying?  
  
Xel: ^.^ Sore wa himistu desu  
  
*behind Red was a cloud of smoke*  
  
Sammy: *punches Xel* Shut up!  
  
Xel: ^.^ Whee  
  
Sammy: *grins, hugging onto him*  
  
Filia: *comes up behind the two, mace in hand*  
  
Sammy: I love you Xel  
  
Xel: *grins* That's cuz I'm a bish!  
  
Karu: Uh...Sammy...*points behind you*  
  
Sammy: Der no, because I do from the bottom of my heart...wha..*turns around* Oh hi Filia what are you going to do with tha.......  
  
Filia: MAZOKU!!!! *bashes them both with the mace*  
  
Sammy: @.@ Ouchies *passes out, landing on Zel*  
  
Karu: Hey...*nudges her off onto Xel*  
  
Sammy: *lands on top of Xel* Oh my...*her face goes bright red as she started running off, but she didn't get that far. She ran into something but nothing was there*  
  
Karu: Damn those invisible walls...*hugs Zel*  
  
Sammy: Ouch dermit  
  
Karu: *looks annoyed* I think I've had quite enough of this madness for now... *APs them all back to her living room, except Filia and Amelia*  
  
Zel: Thanks L-sama...  
  
Sammy: So Xellos, are you good now?  
  
Xel: Hmm? Why whatever do you mean Sammy-san?  
  
Sammy: You said if we annoyed Filia you'd turn good...  
  
Xel: Oh that... I was just kidding. Did you really think there's a way to make Mazoku good? *laughs*  
  
Karu: So you put me and Zel-kun through that sickening display just for kicks?  
  
Xel: Sore wa-  
  
Karu: *APs him into a magic-proof room with Filia and Amelia singing 'Life is Wonderful*  
  
Xel: o.o...Help?  
  
Zel: I think that's the most of a happy ending we're going to get here...  
  
~Fin 


	2. One fic causes SO much trouble for us

Labyrinth  
  
by Karu Leonnese & Sammy Cortez  
  
Notes: This one's shorter and kinda an inside joke. The story we're reading isn't mine. It's one I found on the Silk and Stone website, by _____________ You might wanna read it first, unless you want the ending given away. ^.^ And Sammy's whole thing about me keeping her from being Sarah is because I'm writing a Labyrinth fic for my original anime.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
*Sammy walks into Karu's living room, where Karu is reading a fic she printed out*  
  
Sammy: Aaaaaaaaaooooooogggggggggaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!  
  
Karu: *deosn't look up from the fic* What is up with you?  
  
Sammy: Dunno really...Whatcha readin?  
  
Karu: o.O...Slayers Labyryth fic...  
  
Sammy: *jumps on the couch* Eeeeerrrrrrppppp!! Who is Jereth?  
  
Karu: *smiles* Xellos  
  
Sammy: *screams in happiness*  
  
Karu: ^.^o  
  
Sammy: Who plays Sarah?  
  
Karu: Zelgadis *smirks*  
  
Sammy: *looks upset* What?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Karu: o.o...nani?  
  
Sammy: *goes and finds Zel* ZEL-SAN!  
  
Zel: *is drinkning coffee* Oh what do you want now?  
  
Sammy: Hehe what's new Sarah?  
  
Zel: What? Have you been sniffing paint?  
  
Sammy: Nnnnoooooooo...but there was that black marker would that count?  
  
Zel: //.-o  
  
Sammy: Hehehehe!! Oh Jereth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Xel: *appears* You rang, milady? ^.^  
  
Sammy: *hugs onto him* I am so proud of you!!!!  
  
Xel: *grins*  
  
Zel: I don't know what's going on, but I want no part of it  
  
Sammy: Why couldn't I be Sarah though....I wanna be Sarah...  
  
Karu: *walks in* I think you already are, Zel-kun  
  
Sammy: *cries* I wanna be Sarah  
  
Zel: what's wrong with Sammy?  
  
Sammy: *is hugging onto Xellos crying*  
  
Karu: *hands Zel a copy of the Labyrinth fic she's reading*  
  
Zel: *reading* Amelia's my SISTER?! *keeps reading then looks at Xellos* YOU!!  
  
Sammy: *snorts but still cries*  
  
Karu: *laughs nervously* Well, it's a bit yaoi and all...^.^o  
  
Sammy: I WANNA BE SARAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Zel: *snorts and tosses the script back to Karu* Not like I'm stopping you  
  
Sammy: Karu is!!!!!!!  
  
Karu: *is reading the fic* Hmm? I'm what now?  
  
Sammy: Yyyyyou!!!! YOU'RE STOPING ME FROM BECOMING SARAH!!! *cries kicking Xellos*  
  
Karu: I didn't write it....'Sides...I'm waiting to see Zel-kun in the ball dress...^.^  
  
Zel: Eh...//.o  
  
Sammy: Eeeeeerrrrrrrpppppiiiiiieeeeeee  
  
Karu: ^.^ Xellos sings too!  
  
Sammy: Nnnnoooooooo!!!!! I wanna be your queen Xellos!!  
  
Zel: She can take my place...//.-  
  
Sammy: Please!!!!!!!!  
  
Xel: *puts one arm around Sammy, the other around Zel* Ne, why not both? *smirks*  
  
Sammy: *goes bright red in the face* Eeerrkk  
  
Xel: *looks at Karu* And how about you? Wanna join us?  
  
Karu: *gags*  
  
Zel: *twitches* Fruitcake...  
  
Sammy: All this fruitcake talk make me hungy  
  
Karu: *still reading* Damn you Xellos...Zel's finally in a dress and you turned him into a girl...  
  
Zel: WTF?!  
  
Sammy: What!?  
  
Karu: -.-o...You heard me...  
  
Sammy: Dear lord!!!! *hisses at Zel*  
  
Zel: What?  
  
Karu: T.T....Most of the reason I was reading this....gone in a flash...*sobs*  
  
Sammy: SARAH! SARAH!!  
  
Karu: *shakes Zel by the shoulders* YOU ARE NOT A GIRL!!!!  
  
Zel: //.O  
  
Xel: Y'know, this whole Labyrinth thing gives me an idea....  
  
Sammy: And what might that be?  
  
Xel: *smirks evilly* Sore wa himistu desu! *grabs Zel and they both phase out*  
  
Karu/Sammy: O.o  
  
*They stand there for a minute*  
  
Sammy: So...should we go after them?  
  
Karu:....Mmmmm....nah. I'm going to look up more fics.  
  
Sammy: Ooh me too!  
  
Karu: Kay...C'mon Sarah!  
  
Sammy: *shoujo eyes* Really?  
  
Karu: Sure why not?!  
  
*The two go to read fics like good little fangirls, leaving poor Zel to the -ahem- whims of the Mazoku*  
  
~Fin 


End file.
